Life is a complicated thing and unforeseen circumstances make us face difficult situations. As a licensed adoption agency who has placed over 750 kids into loving homes over the past 20 years, we understand every situation is different, and we want to make sure every biological parent understands what options they have to ensure the most stable life for their child. We believe every biological family deeply and sincerely loves their child. The decision to give a child up for adoption is extremely complicated and comes from a place of worry about the child’s well-being, structure, permanency, opportunity, safety, and most of all love. We feel it is very important that every biological family who cannot provide a positive, stable and safe environment for their child be educated about every option they have for the child that they love so much. Here are some situations where adoption might be the right choice for a biological mother:
She cannot financially support the child:
When an individual decides to parent, they must be ready to pay for the expected costs of the child like clothing, food, housing, etc. Also, more costly issues can arise like medical emergencies. Some biological parents choose adoption because they know that they will not be able to provide financially for the child. They choose to place their child with an adoptive family who is financially and emotionally stable and ready to take on all the obligations to raise a child in a home filled with safety and opportunity.
She does not want to parent:
For some women facing unplanned pregnancy, they simply just do not want to parent and that is okay. In this situation, a woman is choosing adoption to give her child a life with parents who want a child with all their being. The adoptive parents will give the child a life filled with love and encouragement. Through the adoption process, biological parents can choose an open or closed adoption. Every biological family is in control of arranging their type of adoption and can find comfort in knowing how the child is doing.
She is not ready to parent:
Parenthood comes with lots of responsibilities, and it is no uncommon to not be ready for all the responsibilities that come with raising a child. There are many families going through difficult situations and it is understandable that life gets in the way and things get hard. Biological parents may feel that they cannot provide basic necessities for their child, so they choose an adoptive family that can provide and attend to the responsibilities of having a child. There are many people struggling to start a family that have the love and stability a child needs, so they choose to adopt. Adoptive families are always waiting and prepared to bring a child into their family and can give them a life full of opportunity.
She does not want her child to be in foster care:
In instances where a birth mother or family is being confronted about legal matters regarding child protection services (CPS), and her child is going to be placed into foster care, she still has the option to place her child or children with an adoptive family. Foster care limits the control of the birth parents, while adoption allows birth parents to find an adoptive family that they feel most comfortable with. While looking for options, it is important to be honest and straight forward regarding what is important to you as a biological family. Through this process, biological parents can continue to receive updates of their child with an open adoption.
She cannot provide a safe and stable environment for the child
Financial instability, birth father relationships, and uneasy family situations can attribute to a rocky home environment that a birth mother does not want for her child. An unstable environment that biological parents have no control over is not always the easiest to a raise a child in and that is why some biological parents choose adoption. Placing a child for adoption can give the child the opportunity to grow up in a stable, positive, and safe environment with lots of love and opportunity.
She is too young
Teenage girls or young women who unexpectedly become pregnant may consider adoption because they are simply not ready to parent and would like to be able to establish & support themselves before raising a baby. Choosing adoption gives women the opportunity to finish their education without putting it on hold. Women can continue to attend school while they are pregnant and can even apply for adoption scholarships to further her education. The adoption plan will allow a woman to pursue her dreams, all while having control over who the child is placed with and what type of adoption she wants.
She tries to parent, but realizes adoption is the best choice
It is never too late to choose adoption as a plan. Adoption is not always the first choice for birth parents. However, biological parents who plan to parent can realize that they are not ready for the demands of parenthood or cannot provide a safe home and stable parenting. Adoption is always an option and may be the best choice for your child, whether the child is a newborn, months old, or school age. Adoption can always provide amazing opportunities for a child.
She loves her child so much that she wants to best for him or her
Birth mothers all have one thing in common: they love their child so much that they chose adoption. Behind every adoption decision, is never ending love and the main priority is always the child. Biological parents make this sacrifice so that their child can grow up in a safe space surrounded by stability and with unlimited opportunity. All adopted children grow up knowing that the decision their biological parents made was out of unconditional love. Adoption is such selfless act made by a birth mother to ensure that her baby lives a happy, fulfilling life; and adopted children never forget this.
She wants her child to grow up differently than she did
Some birthmothers grew up with lack of permanency and difficult conditions and because of this they want better for this child. Some women have experienced first-hand what it is like to grow up in a household that was not ready to raise a child, and this becomes a reason for them to place their child into an adoptive family. This decision comes from experience and the desire for a birth mother’s child to grow up in a family that is ready for a child. Adoption can give a child the chance at a brighter future filled with stability and support.
She does not have a reliable support system
Raising a child is not an easy thing to do on your own. It is crucial that a birthmother or birthfather has an adequate support system to help her/him through all of his/her baby’s milestones. Adoption becomes a good plan to give a child the family, community, and support they deserve as they grow up. Becoming a parent is a difficult, tiring, and rewarding journey, so having friends and family on call to help is an important part in easing the difficulty of this journey. Adoptive families are ready with full support systems to welcome a child or children into their home.
Many people, including family members and friends, are always ready to give suggestions regarding this difficult decision, however, it is important to remember that as a biological parent, it is your responsibility to keep your child safe, nourished, and loved. It is a biological parent’s responsibility for years to come to ensure opportunities, a good life, and home base for their child.